Sunday, June 27, 2010
However, our experience with courting and marrying over the Internet is very negative. We find that it involves many sinful or questionable practices, among which are the following:
1. Each indivual paints himself or herself a very unreal picture that is meant to impress the other side. One describes what he (or she) wishes to be, not what one really is! Being in a private room with a keyboard and a monitor provides a fat chance for pretence. Thus, lying and deceit are prevalent in this kind of cmmunications. Asmaa, radhi Allaahu anhan, reported that the Prophet, sall'Allaahu alaihi wa salaam, said "A person who pretends that which he does not is like one who wears two garments of deception." [al-Bukhari, and Muslim]
2.A woman's walee is normally responsible for investigating about a prospective husband's family, friends, manners, finances, etc. With Internet courting, on the ohter hand, a woman forsakes all of this and makes herself the ultimate judge, allowing her emotions and the courter's cunning to make for her one of her lifetime's most important decisions!
3. A great deal of precious time is wasted in writing polished emails and exchanging worthless "chats". Abdullaah bin Mas'ood and Abu Burazah, radhi Allaahu anhum, reported that Allaah's Messenger, sall'Allaahu alaihi wa salaam, said: "A human being's feet will not depart from before his Lord, on the Day of Resurrection, until he is questioned about five things: his lifetime and how he consumed it, his youth and body and how he utilized it, his wealth and how he earned it and how he spent it, and what he did in reagard to what he knew." [at-Tirmidhi]
4. Digitized pictures are often exchanged. This practice is largely prohibited, especially since digitized pictures can be easily and permanently stored on the computer, and electronically exchanged with other "interested" individuals.
5. In many cases, the Internet communication takes place between a man and a married woman (often with children)! Soon, the woman starts seeing her husband's mistakes well magnified, and her Internet chatter grows in her thoughts into a perfect hero that will surely save her from her miserable life with her husband. We have witnessed a number of such cases that ended in divorce, or in the woman running away from her husband's house to join the hero that she never met! Turning a woman against her husband is a great sin.
Because of the above and many other reasons, we see that Internet courting is a dangerous practice that should be totally avoided by the righteous Muslims.
It is interesting to note that, in many cases of Internet courting and marriage that the author came to handle, not even one case ended in a happy marriage and was not clear of violations to Islaam!