Thursday, May 27, 2010
Investigate your Intended Partner
When a person's advice is sought in regard to individuals that are considered for marriage, business partnership, etc, he should provide truthful and honest advice. This advice whould be limited to matters relevant to the affair in question, and should not be exceeded to other areas because that my then count as a prohibited form of backbiting.
Fatimah bint Qays, radhi Allaahu anha, reported that her husband 'Amr bin Hafs, radhi Allaahu anhu, went to a fight in al-Yaman (Yemen) with 'Ali bin Abi Taalib, radhi Allaahu anhu. While he was away, he sent 'Ayyaaash bin Abi Rabee'ah to deliver to her a third and final divorce, and he sent with him a quantity of dates and barley as a present.
She protested to 'Ayyaah and requested more support but he responded, "By Allaah, you do not deserve a support unless you were pregnant." She went complaining to Allaah's Messenger, sall'Allaahu alaihi wa salaam, and he asked her:
"How many times did he divorce you?" She replied, "Three times." He said: "He is right then-- he does not owe you any support (because the marriage was terminal)."
The Prophet, sall'Allaahu alaihi wa salaam, told her to spend her 'iddah in Umm Shareek's house, but then remembered that some of his male companions go into her house. So he said: "Spend you 'iddah in the house of your cousin 'Abdullaah ibn Umm Maktoom's. Indeed, he is a blind man, and when you remove your head-cover, he would not see you. When you complete your 'iddah, inform me."
When she completed her 'iddah, Fatimah went to the Prophet, sall'Allaahu alaihi wa salaam, and told him that both Mu'awiyah bin Abi Sufyaan and Abu Jahm asked for her hand. Allaah's Messenger, sall'Allaahu alaihi wa salaam, said: "As for Abu Jahm, he is harsh with women, and never takes the stick off his shoulder; and as for Mu'aawiyah, he is a poor man without any money. Marry Usaamah bin Zayd."
She disliked that, but the Prophet, sall'Allaahu alaihi wa salaam, repeated, "Marry Usaamah bin Zayd."
She concluded: "Then I married Usaamah; Allaah put a great deal of good in him, and I was very happy with him."